RETURN TO THE ATDC WRITINGS SECTION
COPYRIGHT 2004 ALEXTHORN.COM AND TRUSTEES OF PHILLIPS ACADEMY

Appreciating What Isn’t

The Man and God Experience

Alex Thorn ‘04

Winter 2004

Ms. Jean St. Pierre
___________________________________

It’s 5:13 in the morning, but there is something magical about staying awake all throughout a night; something that changes ones perspective on the daytime. Akin to Thelonious Monk’s use of silence during his piano solos to emphasize those notes that he did play, the awareness of night time makes more apparent and brilliant the existence of daytime. The inherent contrast between the day and night becomes visible – literally – and gives birth to a less obvious but more indicative truth: a man’s ability to understand and appreciate what is “not” sets him apart from the institutional norm in a way that builds conviction, understanding and appreciation.

Though in today’s time a young man’s consciousness through the wee hours is usually a definitive indication of a large academic work load, simply experiencing the night, a whole dark existence as full and whole as daytime itself, regardless if for academic demands, creates a feeling of nobility. From seven to seven, the world moves more softly, more beautifully, more eloquently, and, as those who chose to partake in its invitation discover, has the uncanny ability to listen indefinitely and simultaneously speak to those conscious infinitely.

On one hand, the night is infinitely motionless and silent – or at least it aspires to be – and thus serves as a medium for thought and personal contemplation to effortlessly glide. The silence and darkness create a veritable abyss conducive of a level of concentration and cognition not possible during the day time. The lack of sound or activity proves itself oxymoronic – this very lacking produces new activities, previously undiscovered to the man on the all-nighter.

Thus, on the other hand, the night speaks to us: the quiet buzz of a fan, the very sound of silence throughout a household, the newfound loudness produced by the clicking of a light switch, fingers on a keyboard, creaks in the floorboards, opening of a refrigerator, passing of a car down the road, the chirp of one sole bird as the sun begins to take back the night, or the general stillness in the air and the anticipation it causes. During the daytime, a young man may race up the stairs to his room or slam the door of the car without giving either action the slightest pause. But, during the night time, the sound of a cough echoes like a revolutionary gunshot.

The relationship one builds with himself during such an all night awakening eventually produces something far greater than the piece of academic prose it was originally intended to construct: a new understanding of one’s human position. While the first inclination is to assume that such an experience is only humbling, a man able to experience the entire nighttime as equal to the daytime earns a certain sense of royalty. He carries himself with a more dignified feel: a sentiment made up of a sense of accomplishment and justified recognition with a pinch of pomposity. This aside, it is the humbling aspect of the nighttime experience that is of the highest importance.

Black and white, clear and solid, bliss and sadness, night and day, life and death – these are all polar opposites that require its counterpart in order to function. (If there was no life to begin with, how could there be death? If there were no darkness, daylight wouldn’t be so coveted.)

Thus, without an appreciation for nighttime, achieved through its experience, a man cannot fully acknowledge the value of daytime. Without the knowledge and understanding of Earth’s darkest, most silent hours, a man cannot truly live during the brilliant ones. This philosophy, made ever more clear to me by this last and every all night experience I have had has proven more lucrative than I could have ever imagined: they have provided me with more than last minute missives to academia, but also with a renewed appreciation for diversity in life, ideology, contrast, and of course the sanctity of the evening.